Writing can be one of the most rewarding experiences in your life. It allows you to unearth your truth, chip off a piece and reshape it to touch others. That doesn’t mean it always comes easy. Things can and will go wrong. Sometimes it’s the writing: you struggle to find the right words or you’re unsure how to show, not tell. Other times, it’s the story: the plot won’t work, the characters don’t bow to your pen and no matter how hard you try, the emotion just isn’t there.

You can address most issues by learning more about storytelling, but because we’re writers and writing is deeply personal, we tend to turn these struggles into signs of our incompetence. You might translate flat characters as incompetence and plot holes as a screaming sign that you’re not cut out to be a writer.
Impostor syndrome, anyone?

If this resonates, then it’s time to recalibrate. Often, we’re so hung up on achieving our goal, whether it’s to get published or agented or something else, that we forget why we’re writing in the first place. Because writing is a marathon, not a sprint, we need to gear up for the long game. Here are three neat tools that will help you change your mindset and manage the frustration.

1. A Letter to Yourself

I picked up this nifty tool a few years ago in one of the books on the writing craft. Unfortunately, I don’t remember which one, so if it rings a bell, let me know and I’ll properly credit the author. A letter to yourself is a fantastic tool that will keep you centred in the face of rejection.

Unfortunately, rejection is a part of the writer’s journey. It may come in the form of agent or publisher feedback, a book review or a reader’s analysis. It’s easy to translate that rejection into ‘my writing sucks’ and feel like a failure. Which is why it’s good to remind yourself WHY you write.

My guess is you’re not writing because you want to become rich or impress others (if so, you’ll be disappointed), but because you’re driven by a creative urge. You want to tell a story and send a message.
So, take a few minutes to think about why you write, what writing does for you and what it brings to your life.

Then take a piece of paper and a pen and write a letter to yourself. Lay out all the reasons you write and explain what writing brings into your life. Make it as short or as long as you want it to be. When you’re done, store it in an envelope and keep it safe.

Whenever you experience doubt or face rejection, read this letter and remind yourself why you love writing and what it brings into your life. If that reason is still there, you have to keep going. The letter to yourself will take the focus off status and external rewards and remind you what matters.

2. Nice Things

This tool was mentioned in one of the episodes of The Hidden Brain, a podcast I cannot recommend enough. It’s a powerful way to tackle impostor syndrome and one of my favourite resilience tools for writers. The best thing about it is that it costs nothing and is easy to use.

We all have days when we feel like an impostor or think our writing sucks. Even authors who are household names suffer from impostor syndrome. Sometimes we’re frustrated that our writing got stuck or because we can’t see any progress or immediate results. ‘Nice Things’ offers an antidote, because it shows us our work through other people’s eyes.

So, what exactly is ‘Nice Things’? Roughly, a collection of other people’s positive messages and opinions about our work. In order to make it, create a folder on your desktop and call it ‘Nice Things’, then fill it with email screenshots, positive reviews and messages or nice feedback you received on your writing. These might be screenshots of nice bits of feedback on your story or emails and voice messages where people say they’ve read it and liked it. If you’ve published books, you can include screenshots of book reviews or positive messages you’ve received as a writer. Got some positive comments from your friends and family? Add those too.

Make this an ongoing project and keep adding to the material. When you’re feeling stuck or you start doubting your writing, open the folder, read through all the nice things and get a perspective on how others see and value your writing.

If you’re more of an analogue person, you can print out nice things and stick them around your writing corner.

3. The Magic Candle

We’ve all got an inner editor or censor and it’s hard to control when they appear. I’ve named mine Ruth Leslie Sting and she loves showing up unannounced (yes, I’ve named her). While I love her insights and analysis when it’s time to revise, her judgment and comments hamper my creative process. Ruth questions my choices, dispenses her judgments and jumps in with her edits before I even finish writing the sentence. This forces my brain to switch from the creative mode to the analytical mode, burning precious energy with each switch and adding the overall feeling that my writing isn’t going well.

Enter the magic candle. To keep Ruth at bay, I light a candle before I start writing. For as long as the candle is burning, Ruth has no say in what goes and what doesn’t. Once I’m done with the first draft, I ask Ruth for her opinion and listen to her judgment.

How many candles I burn when writing a book? I dare not count.

I hope you’ll try these tools and make good use of them. Let me know how they work for you.