Info dumps are longer chunks of text that are too packed with information, making them difficult to process. Even more seasoned writers aren’t immune to them. Here’s an example:
Manny’s was an old-school cafe that hadn’t aged well. In the place of the Knoll womb chairs there was a plastic garden set, bought at 15 dollars, and the once stylish wooden coffee tables had been sold off and replaced by cheap wooden blocks. The owner, Mr Toby Winterson, had done the best he could to save the original vintage furniture from 1948, but no amount of instruction notes or repairs would restore them to their initial beauty.
He’d even taken a loan to renovate, but most of that money had been eaten away by taxes and fines. The last two health inspections had slapped him with a fine so large that he’d had to raise money to pay it. And all that for keeping his cleaning products in the same space as his food supplies. Did they really expect him to pay for storage space, too? Jane had helped Winterson write a complaint, but nothing ever came out of it. Whether she liked it or not, she was destined to observe her favourite cafe dwindling before her eyes.
When she came in for lunch, Winterson informed her they no longer served warm food because he couldn’t afford to keep the chef. It wasn’t only his cafe that suffered, the entire district was under fire, and there were rumours that a developer wanted to buy the land to build luxury apartments, but didn’t want to buy off all the businesses.
This purpose of this paragraph was to set the atmosphere and inform the reader where the scene takes place, but the amount of information gives the impression that the story is about the cafe or the changes in the district. The reader doesn’t need to know all that to understand where the scene is happening. A line or two will do. For example:
Jane skimmed over the plastic chairs at Manny’s, looking for a place to sit. It wasn’t packed as it used to be. If Winterson could afford to properly renovate the place, maybe he could restore it to its former glory.
She sat at the corner table and waved at the waiter. He came right away.
‘What will it be?’ he asked.
‘A focaccia and a glass of water, please.’
‘We only have salads,’ the waiter said.
‘You mean today or in general?’
‘Since today. It’s salad and muffins, I’m afraid. Toby had to let the chef go.’
Jane swallowed the knot in her throat. ‘It’s not another fine, is it? Because if it is, I could help him write…’
The waiter waved his hand. ‘What do I know. He never tells me anything, but from what I hear, it’s the whole block that’s under fire.’
The second part keeps the reader’s attention on Jane but still gives the flavour of the setting.
How much information is too much, though? That’s relative, as many things in writing are, but anything that’s long enough to take the reader away from the story on the page is an info dump. This could be anywhere from a few lines to a few paragraphs.
While there’s nothing wrong with passing information per se, it’s good to be mindful at what point we do it, how we do it and how often.
A well-conveyed piece of information will move the story forward while an info dump will force the reader to pause in order to process the information.
The problem with info dumps is that they pause the story, forcing the reader to memorise the information. The reader will always assume this information is relevant, so if later on it turns out that it actually wasn’t, they’ll get upset.
Okay, but what about the classics and their endless paragraphs describing blooming fields, garments and small towns with such enthusiasm? Haven’t they stood the test of time?
Lengthy descriptions were necessary in times before mass travel, but today, our needs and attention span are different. Contemporary storytelling, among other things, reflects those changes. Having said that, a lot depends on the genre and the storytelling culture. A good rule of thumb, though, is to keep information on a ‘need to know’ basis, for example, to communicate a fact, to create atmosphere or to reveal/build up a character.
First, let’s check why info dumps appear:
- the author wants to convey information (e.g. about history, another character or an event);
- the author wants to make a point or they’re passionate about something;
- the author wants to share their knowledge or interesting facts they’ve discovered during their research.
The author will always know much more about the story than the reader. Perhaps they don’t want to hold back or they simply want to make good use of their research material. However, in an attempt to make the story richer and more believable, they unload a bunch of information that stifles it. Info dumps are hard to process. They don’t serve the story and need to be dealt with.
Here’s how to tackle them.
- Separate the ‘must haves’ from the ‘nice to haves’
Identify the information that is needed to move the story forward and cut out the rest. What information is absolutely relevant to the story? Killing your darlings is never easy, but it must be done if you don’t want those extra bits to suffocate your story. Keep them in a separate file, and use them for your social media campaign or give them away as exclusive content for your fans. - Spread information throughout the story
Consider what information needs to be shared at what point. What does the reader need to know at this point in the story, to understand what’s going on? Distribute the other bits throughout the story, making sure that none are bundled together in bigger chunks. - Diversify ways to convey information
Not everything needs to be told through expositions. You can convey information deftly through dialogue, context or setting. Show, don’t tell is your best friend here. Not only will it keep info dumps at bay, it’ll make your story richer, too.
To find out more about servicing the story, check out ‘But first, the story’.
